Wednesday, November 26, 2008

What crime would a turkey have had to commit in order to be worthy of your presidential pardon?

7 comments:

Leslie said...

Nipping Sarah Palin when she tried to make it Thanksgiving diner.

rob said...

It would have to kill 3 bald eagles.

Anonymous said...

Money laundering

John said...

Outing an undercover CIA operative working on WMD...oh wait, nevermind, that should never be a pardonable crime.

Anonymous said...

murdering Janice Dickinson's plastic surgeon

Scottie said...

"Taking care of" the following people:

Bill O'Reilly
Lauren Conrad
Anyone from any cast of the Real World, post-Vegas (well, including Vegas, I guess)
Bobby Flay (and Racheaaeaaeaeal Ray, for good measure)
Ashlee and Jessica Simpson (or at the very least figure out a way to give Jessica a mute button)
Greg Paulus
Pete Carroll
Jonathan Papelbon (seriously dude, what's with your way-too-calculated, oh-i'm-trying-way-too-hard-to-look-way-too-tough glare before every pitch?? I've seen the video of you in drag in high school...you're a good pitcher, but you're an L-7 weenie)
Rush Limbaugh (is he still relevant?)

Oh, and kidnapping and deprogramming Bristol Palin's baby daddy wouldn't be a bad idea either. He might not be the brightest bulb in the box, but no one should have to be subjected to what he must have to go through on a daily basis.

Cate said...

caroline says "trafficking cocaine through newark"
mike says "committing a massive conspiracy to defraud the american public into starting an unjustified war"
cate says "being a jive turkey"