Oh, I thought you were white.
No way! That's my uncle too!
"...and I always felt like I was trapped in a man's body, so I went ahead with the operation and changed my name to Becky."
This wasn't a blind date, but one time on a first date, the guy pulled his car over in a Dunkin Donuts parking lot and proceeded to go dumpster diving while I sat there. It was pretty terrible.
I once got into a huge argument with a blind date over the Bush tax cuts. Seriously. I still don't know how the conversation steered that way. Only in Washington.
I can't meet Thursday, that's when I have my Klan meetings. And Beth, is that dumpster diving story real?!?
Have I mentioned that I'm a Kennedy?Seriously. A guy tried this once when it wasn't going well and then proceeded to tell me this elaborate story about how his grandmother had been a nanny to the Kennedy family and had an affair with Joseph, but after she moved to Michigan some men showed up one day and ransacked the house and stole all the photos of his grandmother with the Kennedys.
This didn't happen on a blind date, but a first date.."This is my family. Let's go to dinner!"
after an amazingly fantastic blind date i ended up in bed with this hot piece of ass and we're about to get to the point of doing it when he leans across the bed and is getting something underneath the bed...he produces...his poetry. I have to sit through five poems, then grade three of them before i realise im not getting any. i give him an "F" and leave.
Not a date, but a follow up after getting a girl's number at Rumors one drunken Saturday night. Met her, a female friend, and 2 guys wearing Army fatigues as pants at Brickskellars. First she mentioned they all met in Rick Santorum's office, then proceeded to say "I heart rick" while drawing a heart on her chest with her hands.The date ended then and there, but we then had an extended politcal discussion, because I can't turn those down. The best exchange was on civil unions. She asked if I agreed with "gay civil unions" and i replied "no, of course not, those are a sham." They finally thought we had common ground until I continued "I mean, they should be allowed to get married just like the rest of us."I don't think I even shaked her hand at the end of the night.
N/A this would actually require dating
One of the last pre-Meg dates I went on was with this girl who was really cool, very nice, the whole nine. We went out, and were walking around Bethesda one night, holding hands...was all very nice, until politics came up, and she said to me, "I'm just glad I got my mother to vote for George Bush."I actually yanked my hand away from hers.
"The doctor says I'm only contagious during outbreaks"
"....but don't worry, my rash down there isn't contagious.."
ok, this one actually happened to me on a first date that i thought would be ok. i told this dude my phone number and said if he was smart enough to remember it without writing it down while i was in the bar i would go out with him. (i had ovaries in my early 20s.) anyway he called, we went out and the conversation turned to the sun. it was hawaii. i was tan. then apparently i was a racist because i thought it was okay for all people, including people of color, to get a tan if they wanted one. he totally called me a racist. i told him that i would pay for his drinks and dinner if he left immediately. he left. i called my friends. they met me. we drank. ate garlic fries. and the night was salvaged. the end.
It's real. The dumpster diving took place after we went to the movies where he brought his own big plastic refillable cup. I couldn't make this up if I tried.
"Does it matter to you that I don't pull out?"
True story, My friend set me up with her college friend who had just moved to town. She was cute, great laugh, yada yada...We went to dinner. It was great. Afterward, we strolled around just chatting for an hour. Wonderful. We ended up at Chi-Cha for a drink. We were sharing stories about our families and how discombobulating a move can be on your life. I'm thinking I really have to thank Julie (my friend) for setting me up with this woman when she stops, looks around, and says, "gosh there are a lot of coloreds in here, you know, blacks. Is it safe?" Erm... Check please! Honest to God, never saw that coming. Nice girl, except for the, you know, whole racist thing.
the sound of your date tapping a pen on his/her glass eye (this one's for bruno).
Direct quote from a Red Sox security guard after I told him a second date wasn't going to happen:"Great, well, I'll be sure to throw you out of the park you're there."
"jail was rough. i'm glad i made parole."
"if you like the French so much, maybe you should move to France!!" Republican from Oklahoma after he explained we were very open-minded for going on an across-the-aisle date and we then discussed France's stance on the war in Iraq. I almost left the restaurant. Definitely established a no Republicans rule.
my friend's twin brother is good friends with this guy who lived near me when i first moved to seattle. he was a hermit and i was new to town so the twins thought we could both benefit from hanging out. about halfway through our second round of beers he said (without any conversational provocation or information on which to base his assumption): "i'm a virgin and i want my wife to be a virgin too. i'd still like to see you naked, though." i excused myself and never talked to him again. no wonder he's a hermit.
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