I have 2...the first is not novel...after a night of drinking in college i quite successfully peed behind a tree. i did, however, stumble a bit, but at the time noticed nothing...until the next day when i realized i'd somehow gotten a huge and quite painful scratch down my ass...i don't pee behind trees anymore...
the second involves a trip in europe, where there are sometimes those huge, free standing, enclosed one room toilets in the middle of a city or piazza, as it were. you usually have to pay to use them. someone had left the door open after they used it, so i was psyched at the chance to pee for free. for some reason before entering, i decided not to use it, let the door close, and promptly heard the disinfecting boiling sprays come on to clean the little room...i was very nearly cleaned to death...
Nothing especially memorable or funny has happened to me while peeing in public. However, my friend had a misfortunate incident. It was New Years Eve 1999 and a large group of us were walking from a party to downtown Austin. My friend Tony decided he had to pee, and went to the bottom of a hill to pee in the bushes. Our friend Chris (who is a big dude, he's 6'8") then ran down the hill to push Tony from behind as he peed. Then Chris and Tony fought. Hopefully after Tony finished peeing.
Tony had been saying "Y2K, it'll be ok" nonstop that whole evening, so maybe he deserved it.
Freshman year in college my friend Red and I were coming back from parties and I had to pee soooooo bad! Definitely couldn't make it back to the dorm so we decided to pee up on the hill behind Health Services.....so down come my pants...I'm peeing.....and lose my balance.....roll down the hill with my pants around my ankles! The best part of the story is that there was a group of about 10 people walking by hysterically laughing, pointing...and staring!
meg and i were walking back from frat row across campus. we both had to power squat on the lawn by the HUB. we were being and she tumbled into me, or i into her and there we were hysterical with our pants down toppled over. our friend was yelling at us to get up but we just layed their laughing. i was quite funny.
Once upon a time I thought it was completely unfair that boys could pee out of windows and girls couldn't. So I tried to pee out a car window... hovering (if you could call it that) while balanced on the door. It didn't work.
The most cruel thing i have ever done was as a dare to Stuart Sutty at boarding school. Stuart was small, had no forehead and spoke in a monotone voice. Rumour has it that while someone sleeps if you take their fingers and put them in a cup of water they will wet themselves. Worked a treat. Lil Stuey wet the bed and I was popular for a whole week! Oh the shame. It was totally worth it though as Patrick Hughes (he was so cool and super foxy hot) became my partner in Biology and my heart still beats for him.
About three months into a semester abroad in Spain, I gave into cultural pressure and took a "natural" in a narrow street in Seville. In that instant, a car drove by. I pulled up my pants in record speed, and somehow lost 50,000 pesetas I had been storing in my underwear. This was about $35 US-- big money for me at the time!
The next time I tried this was on the beach by the Mediterranean Sea. Just as I dropped my pants, a GIANT wave came out of nowhere and soaked me from head to toe, including the only clothes I had brought with me for the weekend, which never did dry out. I also had to chase my ID and money down the beach, half-nude, while the other students in my program watched.
Time #3 was behind a moped in Portugal. I lost my balance and peed all over my clothes. Somehow, my friend Keri did the exact same thing.
Probably the best was when I was training for a marathon and could no longer hold it while running by the Capitol, so I peed in one of the big bushes right by the big reflecting pool in front of the Capitol. Somehow, I did not get arrested.
My second favorite is when I was retruning drunk to my ex-girlfriend's house, made it all the way there, but pissed in her front yeard instead of waiting to get inside.
after a night of drinking, i found myself doing the "pee dance" on the metro. surprisingly i made it to columbia heights, but those 4 blocks to my house seemed to be more than my bladder could handle. so, i decided my only option was to pull the old college squat right on the side of the CVS on 14th st.
i also peed right in front of the kennedy center during the marine corps marathon. definitely busted by some spectators.
Gallery Place, Lucky Strike, at the "lower urinal." Unzipped and let out 3 beers worth. Looked down, and realized I had pissed all over the *top* of the urinal, not getting any *inside* the urinal. Looked down further, realized I was now standing in a gigantic pool of urine. Looked back at the row of guys waiting to pee, all of them shaking their heads.
11 comments:
I have 2...the first is not novel...after a night of drinking in college i quite successfully peed behind a tree. i did, however, stumble a bit, but at the time noticed nothing...until the next day when i realized i'd somehow gotten a huge and quite painful scratch down my ass...i don't pee behind trees anymore...
the second involves a trip in europe, where there are sometimes those huge, free standing, enclosed one room toilets in the middle of a city or piazza, as it were. you usually have to pay to use them. someone had left the door open after they used it, so i was psyched at the chance to pee for free. for some reason before entering, i decided not to use it, let the door close, and promptly heard the disinfecting boiling sprays come on to clean the little room...i was very nearly cleaned to death...
Nothing especially memorable or funny has happened to me while peeing in public. However, my friend had a misfortunate incident. It was New Years Eve 1999 and a large group of us were walking from a party to downtown Austin. My friend Tony decided he had to pee, and went to the bottom of a hill to pee in the bushes. Our friend Chris (who is a big dude, he's 6'8") then ran down the hill to push Tony from behind as he peed. Then Chris and Tony fought. Hopefully after Tony finished peeing.
Tony had been saying "Y2K, it'll be ok" nonstop that whole evening, so maybe he deserved it.
The end
Freshman year in college my friend Red and I were coming back from parties and I had to pee soooooo bad! Definitely couldn't make it back to the dorm so we decided to pee up on the hill behind Health Services.....so down come my pants...I'm peeing.....and lose my balance.....roll down the hill with my pants around my ankles! The best part of the story is that there was a group of about 10 people walking by hysterically laughing, pointing...and staring!
college, first year, surprise surprise.
meg and i were walking back from frat row across campus. we both had to power squat on the lawn by the HUB. we were being and she tumbled into me, or i into her and there we were hysterical with our pants down toppled over. our friend was yelling at us to get up but we just layed their laughing. i was quite funny.
Once upon a time I thought it was completely unfair that boys could pee out of windows and girls couldn't. So I tried to pee out a car window... hovering (if you could call it that) while balanced on the door. It didn't work.
The most cruel thing i have ever done was as a dare to Stuart Sutty at boarding school. Stuart was small, had no forehead and spoke in a monotone voice. Rumour has it that while someone sleeps if you take their fingers and put them in a cup of water they will wet themselves. Worked a treat. Lil Stuey wet the bed and I was popular for a whole week! Oh the shame. It was totally worth it though as Patrick Hughes (he was so cool and super foxy hot) became my partner in Biology and my heart still beats for him.
About three months into a semester abroad in Spain, I gave into cultural pressure and took a "natural" in a narrow street in Seville. In that instant, a car drove by. I pulled up my pants in record speed, and somehow lost 50,000 pesetas I had been storing in my underwear. This was about $35 US-- big money for me at the time!
The next time I tried this was on the beach by the Mediterranean Sea. Just as I dropped my pants, a GIANT wave came out of nowhere and soaked me from head to toe, including the only clothes I had brought with me for the weekend, which never did dry out. I also had to chase my ID and money down the beach, half-nude, while the other students in my program watched.
Time #3 was behind a moped in Portugal. I lost my balance and peed all over my clothes. Somehow, my friend Keri did the exact same thing.
Long story short, peeing in public is not for me.
Probably the best was when I was training for a marathon and could no longer hold it while running by the Capitol, so I peed in one of the big bushes right by the big reflecting pool in front of the Capitol. Somehow, I did not get arrested.
My second favorite is when I was retruning drunk to my ex-girlfriend's house, made it all the way there, but pissed in her front yeard instead of waiting to get inside.
If I peed on camera in an adult entertainment film, does that count as peeing in public?
after a night of drinking, i found myself doing the "pee dance" on the metro. surprisingly i made it to columbia heights, but those 4 blocks to my house seemed to be more than my bladder could handle. so, i decided my only option was to pull the old college squat right on the side of the CVS on 14th st.
i also peed right in front of the kennedy center during the marine corps marathon. definitely busted by some spectators.
i'm classy.
Gallery Place, Lucky Strike, at the "lower urinal." Unzipped and let out 3 beers worth. Looked down, and realized I had pissed all over the *top* of the urinal, not getting any *inside* the urinal. Looked down further, realized I was now standing in a gigantic pool of urine. Looked back at the row of guys waiting to pee, all of them shaking their heads.
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