I often fell down when running, from the time I could walk. When I was two, I fell running and refused to walk for a week. My mom had to stop feeding me to get me to walk.
One week I fell down the stairs three times (one of these times I was trying to break in my pointe shoes. I'm not sure why I picked the stairs to do this). My first day of junior high, I fell UP the stairs.
And most recently, 2 days after I moved to DC, I went out for the first time. I lived in Foggy Bottom and wasn't sure of the safety level of the area so coming home drunk, I tried to be hyperaware of my surroundings. However, I neglected to notice the uneven sidewalk. My left foot rolled outwards off my flip flop and the sidewalk - about 6 inches - snapping the bone. Totally stupid and not even cast-worthy.
in high school we had one of those fruit drives...sell a bunch of fruit and get new band uniforms or whatever...after school i helped unload the fruit and was up in the truck. my feet got tangled in something and i tripped and blew out my knee. i was in physical therapy for a long time...
There was the time in college I woke abruptly from a nightmare, fell out of my loft, smashed my foot into the ceiling tiles on the way down, and ripped all the skin off of my pinky toe in the process.
Then there was the time I was trying to pull a wooden dowel out of a chair with a pocket knife and the knife blade closed down on my finger. Whoops.
Well, little Johnny, when a man and a woman love each other very much, and they want to express that love on New Years Eve of 2000 after a long marathon night of drinking (and ringing in the New Year in each time zone), sometimes they do so in a hotel room in San Jose, CA, and sometimes it results in the man falling out of bed whilst in the middle of, ahem, "expressing that love" and fracturing his fibula while his girlfriend laughs her drunken arse off as he writhes in excruciating pain on the floor. (true story)
I broke my little pinkie finger on a flying trapeeze. I was about to launch off my bar and grab the other one when I fell and landed into the net. My ass was on my pinkie and it broke. It hung off my finger like a sad, limp little kid excluded from the other fingers, all purple and fat. The only thing was I was working as a counsellor in the costume department at a summer camp (how gay is that sentence?) and so couldnt sew. The kids costumes were all glue gunned together, which leads to my other stupid injury. While making a pair of furry cat ears for CATS i glue gunned my entire palm resulting in a blister the size of the moon. I cried for three hours when it popped. Summer camp is deadly.
I was trying to sneak into my high school's football stadium one night and in attempting to jump over the chain link fence, I gashed my finger open on the little barb thingy. It was gross. I had to get a tetanus shot. And once, I was carrying a ridiculously heavy suitcase through the airport in Madrid and I totally wiped out on the escalator. That was mostly an injury to the ego but I had the world's most disgusting bruise.
I was burning incense in my room when I was 10 and in the process of lighting a new cone burned my finger and dropped the lit incense into a giant tissue-paper flower. The tissue caught fire so I grabbed the flower and ran to the bathroom to put it out, but as I ran the flames blew back into my face, burning off my eyelashes and eyebrows
and once while making candles (as an adult) I jammed a steak knife into my wrist
I once got funny looking bruises from sleeping in a closet and using a pile of high heels as a pillow. Yes, I was sober. Also, when I was 3, I drank some gasoline.
11 comments:
I fell and landed on my toy cow. I had to get stitches in my head. Who has a toy cow anyway???
Oh lord. Where do I start?
I often fell down when running, from the time I could walk. When I was two, I fell running and refused to walk for a week. My mom had to stop feeding me to get me to walk.
One week I fell down the stairs three times (one of these times I was trying to break in my pointe shoes. I'm not sure why I picked the stairs to do this). My first day of junior high, I fell UP the stairs.
And most recently, 2 days after I moved to DC, I went out for the first time. I lived in Foggy Bottom and wasn't sure of the safety level of the area so coming home drunk, I tried to be hyperaware of my surroundings. However, I neglected to notice the uneven sidewalk. My left foot rolled outwards off my flip flop and the sidewalk - about 6 inches - snapping the bone. Totally stupid and not even cast-worthy.
I cut my forehead on a spatula Sunday night.
in high school we had one of those fruit drives...sell a bunch of fruit and get new band uniforms or whatever...after school i helped unload the fruit and was up in the truck. my feet got tangled in something and i tripped and blew out my knee. i was in physical therapy for a long time...
Oh, so many to choose from...
There was the time in college I woke abruptly from a nightmare, fell out of my loft, smashed my foot into the ceiling tiles on the way down, and ripped all the skin off of my pinky toe in the process.
Then there was the time I was trying to pull a wooden dowel out of a chair with a pocket knife and the knife blade closed down on my finger. Whoops.
Well, little Johnny, when a man and a woman love each other very much, and they want to express that love on New Years Eve of 2000 after a long marathon night of drinking (and ringing in the New Year in each time zone), sometimes they do so in a hotel room in San Jose, CA, and sometimes it results in the man falling out of bed whilst in the middle of, ahem, "expressing that love" and fracturing his fibula while his girlfriend laughs her drunken arse off as he writhes in excruciating pain on the floor. (true story)
I broke my little pinkie finger on a flying trapeeze. I was about to launch off my bar and grab the other one when I fell and landed into the net. My ass was on my pinkie and it broke. It hung off my finger like a sad, limp little kid excluded from the other fingers, all purple and fat. The only thing was I was working as a counsellor in the costume department at a summer camp (how gay is that sentence?) and so couldnt sew. The kids costumes were all glue gunned together, which leads to my other stupid injury. While making a pair of furry cat ears for CATS i glue gunned my entire palm resulting in a blister the size of the moon. I cried for three hours when it popped. Summer camp is deadly.
snow tubing!
I was trying to sneak into my high school's football stadium one night and in attempting to jump over the chain link fence, I gashed my finger open on the little barb thingy. It was gross. I had to get a tetanus shot. And once, I was carrying a ridiculously heavy suitcase through the airport in Madrid and I totally wiped out on the escalator. That was mostly an injury to the ego but I had the world's most disgusting bruise.
I was burning incense in my room when I was 10 and in the process of lighting a new cone burned my finger and dropped the lit incense into a giant tissue-paper flower. The tissue caught fire so I grabbed the flower and ran to the bathroom to put it out, but as I ran the flames blew back into my face, burning off my eyelashes and eyebrows
and once while making candles (as an adult) I jammed a steak knife into my wrist
I once got funny looking bruises from sleeping in a closet and using a pile of high heels as a pillow. Yes, I was sober.
Also, when I was 3, I drank some gasoline.
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