golly marcia, why do you keep bringing up that incident. it was clearly a misunderstanding. i have no clue why that cop thought i was going to kidnap you and steal your crown. i just wanted to be a good sister and shine my - um i mean YOUR crown for you.
Jan, dear. I talked to Mom, and we both agree. The cop didn't believe you would be a beauty queen because of your botched nose job. Plastic surgery is no way to go through life. You should look at your inner beauty, and not worry that you're a hideous mess with freckles and poor wig choices.
Jan, he's only our step-brother so that is perfectly legal. And besides, that's not nearly as bad as what Bobby and I saw you doing in the backyard of the Ditmeyer's house. Public defecation is just plain wrong.
Oh silly us. We assumed that because what we saw was on all four legs and had enough back hair to make an angora sweater, it was you. Oh, but I am sure we'll laugh we're we older and we have kids of our own. Or, more realisticly, when I have kids of my own.
20 comments:
Treason.
Cross-dressing to win said beauty pageant.
coke habit, or is coke habit and beauty queen redundant?
oh jeez, it would probably be for being caught drunk again. but i learned my lesson the last time at prom.
streaking
or
ordering the firing of the Public Safety Commissioner of the state of Alaska
making extra money by renting out my tiara and sash to prostitutes and porn actresses.
or
shooting a moose.
Knowing me, it would be because I slept with the Pageants producer and maybe 3 of the pageant contestants.
Or because I voted Democrat.
Ordering a hit on Lauren Conrad. OMG UR A PIG!
Well, I probably wouldn't get stripped of my beauty pageant crown. That's more of a Jan sort of thing. Poor Jan.
golly marcia, why do you keep bringing up that incident. it was clearly a misunderstanding. i have no clue why that cop thought i was going to kidnap you and steal your crown. i just wanted to be a good sister and shine my - um i mean YOUR crown for you.
Jan, dear. I talked to Mom, and we both agree. The cop didn't believe you would be a beauty queen because of your botched nose job. Plastic surgery is no way to go through life. You should look at your inner beauty, and not worry that you're a hideous mess with freckles and poor wig choices.
yea, well Marcia, cindy and i both agree that you're a bitch. i'm telling mom i saw you making out with greg last night in the station wagon.
Stealing Sarah Palin's wardrobe.
espionage b/c it sounds cool.
Jan, he's only our step-brother so that is perfectly legal. And besides, that's not nearly as bad as what Bobby and I saw you doing in the backyard of the Ditmeyer's house. Public defecation is just plain wrong.
sex with a Chicken.
that wasn't me, it was tiger!
Oh silly us. We assumed that because what we saw was on all four legs and had enough back hair to make an angora sweater, it was you. Oh, but I am sure we'll laugh we're we older and we have kids of our own. Or, more realisticly, when I have kids of my own.
I once was stripped of my pagent crown for nefarious reasons. I don't like to talk about it.
Let's just say Mario Lopez can't be trusted to keep a secret.
pageant heresy
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